This Christmas, my family and I are doing something a bit different from normal: We’ll be cozying up in a “lodge” (on the southern shore of Lake Windermere. I booked this almost a year ago and I’ve been looking forward to it ever since. I can’t wait!
Your Christmas might be very similar to mine, but chances are it will be very different. You might be excited about Christmas, or you might be dreading it; Christmas might be a time of sadness for you, or it might be a time of socialising and merriment. You might celebrate Christmas in the truest sense of the celebration as practising Christians, or you might not celebrate at all. However you treat Christmas, I have been thinking about what makes it flow with the most joy and the least stress for me, and I’d like to share with you my best “Christmas Tips” ever – to help you plan a stress-reduced, light and happy holiday season in just two very tiny steps.
Step One – List Your Top Five “Yeses” for Christmas
For me, as a recovering perfectionist, going away to a rented lodge is, well – perfect! The reason is that there will be no “jobs” around the house glaring at me, no office admin to snarl at me, nothing that “must” be done really except cook (and I enjoy that!). It enables me to completely concentrate on my top five “yeses”:
- Playing with my boys
- Good food (and wine!)
- Immersing myself in the great outdoors
- Engrossing myself in a novel
- Snuggling in front of an open fire with my husband every evening
As each year passes, we learn what makes a special and meaningful Christmas and we learn from our mistakes. For me, booking our Lake District Lodge was a decision I made after really thinking about what makes a delightful Christmas for me and my family – identifying the top five “yeses”.
What are your top five “yeses” for a delightful Christmas?
Once you’ve identified them, use them as the fulcrum around which all the other Christmas stuff revolves. Keep your Christmas “yes” list written down somewhere you can remind yourself of them and you’ll find that you will be more resilient to the stresses that inevitably crop up around the festive season.
Step Two – Let Go of Perfectionism
Even with your absolute yes list defined and visible, don’t think that this will make Christmas perfect, and don’t, whatever you do, make your absolute yes list into a reason to strive for perfection, beat yourself up and then feel guilty!
Of course, we all know that there’s no such thing as the perfect Christmas, despite what the women’s magazines try to tell us. Just read the typical glossy mags’ headings:
- “How to cook the Perfect Christmas Lunch”
- “How to Have a Perfect Christmas”
- “How to Look Fabulous This Christmas”
Eeek! No wonder we feel we have to strive for perfectionism at Christmas after reading this lot!
Letting go of perfectionism is about lowering your expectations of yourself and others. As I said, I’m a recovering perfectionist, and have intermittent episodes of trying to attain “Domestic Goddess” status. Unfortunately, this means that I’ve spent many Christmas days following complex recipes and stressing myself (and those around me) in the process. Sometimes the result of all that effort has been spectacular, but sometimes it has been rubbish! Last year I decided to make Beef Wellington instead of turkey. It was an unmitigated disaster and I cringe when I think how much that fillet steak cost!
However, we had a laugh about it, and embracing such mistakes lightens it all and is one of the best ways you can let go of that ole’ devil perfectionism!
My oldest son is almost seven now and I’ve decided that I’ve spent too many hours in the kitchen on Christmas Day over his first six Christmases. This year we’ll have a turkey and all the trimmings but cooked simply (not a Beef Wellington in sight). But all those fancy vegetable recipes? Nah! I don’t think so; I’d rather play!
I’ve used the example of food here, as I’m a complete foodie, but the same applies to people, home or any of the other aspects of Christmas where we tend to strive for perfection. Ride the waves of things that aren’t being quite right, lighten up, love, laugh, and embrace Christmas imperfection.
Wishing you a delightfully imperfect Christmas this year!
Amanda Alexander is the founder and Director of http://www.coachingmums.com Amanda is an ICF accredited coach, and for over six years, Coaching Mums has helped hundreds of working moms to balance their lives, get rid of guilt, get more time and have a lot more fun. For great articles and coaching tips, visit http://www.coachingmums.com and sign up to receive our popular free newsletter “Inspire”.
Tags: Christmas, Christmas tips, family, holidays, planning Christmas, stress